I’ll see you all in hell, apparently.

It’s the end of the first week of my #wrongtwitter experiment, and the overwhelming feeling I have is not of disgust, shock or anger…it’s tiredness.

I’m knackered in my brain. It’s so arse-numbingly dull wading through some of the tweets I now have on my feed. One or two are worthy of a second read as they might make a decent stab at an informed opinion, but mostly they are dripping with tedium. They are all so uniformly the same. Hate filled ignorant bilge that really isn’t worth repeating. But repeat it they do. Ad nauseam.

The same themes all the time. No discussion, just idiot soundbites, and tweets of agreement. It’s dispiriting and soul sapping, and it makes me tired.

(By the way, one lovely follower of mine did send their best wishes and was sorry to hear that I had to go through this. Though the sentiment was appreciated, I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me…there’s nothing to feel sorry about. It’s my choice to do this to try to get a bit of blood pumping, that’s all)

So, back to the ennui.

Some of the more interesting tweets have been about President Obama, and his inability to do anything right. No, really, he can’t even change his socks without a massive right-wing outcry about how his socks are also worn by Muslims. His ineptitude means he’s like Frank Spencer, Homer Simpson, Stan Laurel AND Oliver Hardy all rolled into one calamitous bundle. Except that he’s black, which a few observant correspondents noted (in a restrained manner). Oh, and his middle name’s Hussein, which obviously means something. It can’t be a coincidence, can it? What with this mosque business at Ground Zero as well. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

I decided to leave those alone after a bit, partly because some of the things being tweeted were so idiotic even Dubya would think twice before saying them (oops, my ‘liberalism’ is showing), but mostly because the USA is not my country, and if I can say stupid things about David Cameron, I have no problem with stupid things being said about Barack Obama. Except for the racist things. Morons.

Abortion was the other big thing. I’m Pro-Choice, because I believe it’s the only decent way to deal with what is obviously an emotionally fraught subject. I don’t believe termination of a pregnancy is a cause for joy, but neither do I believe that it’s an act of murder. That is just plain wrong. I’ve tried to debate this with three of the people I followed, all of whom declined (two via DM, one on the comments to my last blog). Reasons given included my socialism, my maleness, my belief that science knows best and, quite bizarrely, my not being American. I’m no expert in this area, so these guys have missed an opportunity to destroy my argument with all their god facts, church research and bible studies. Tough luck, you lot, you had your chance…

So I’ve tried to just look at tweets generally, rather than specific subjects.

My eye was caught by this little beauty from @TPO_Hisself:

Congress: Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups

@TPO_Hisself has 54,826 followers. Figure out the punch-line yourselves.

The delightful @meganphelps from the Westboro Baptist Church has a thing for Justin Bieber. Why, I’m not sure, but I think it’s because God hates Canada http://twitpic.com/29k687 With me it’s his youth, ubiquity on twitter and his haircut, but hey, that’s just me being grumpily jealous.

 She hates Lady Gaga too. Or God does. Again, I’m not sure why, but the words ‘slut’ and ‘proud whore’ have been mentioned.

 Heading to our 3rd @ladygaga concert picket! It’s really a sight to behold: the vicious assaults of “little monsters” …bc *we’re* hateful

A friend/relative of hers held these signs outside the gig: http://twitpic.com/2be8z4  

 And here’s a little film they made: http://tweetreel.com/?tpf8r

 Obviously no incitement or provocation there. You may remember the Phelps family and the WBC from a Louis Theroux doc three years ago. Remember them picketing a shop because they sold Swedish vacuum cleaners? Sweden hates homophobes, and that’s the reason for the picket. I’m predicting the Indian restaurant down the road will be in for a hard time, as I believe Elton John once bought a hat in Mumbai. If I’m being kind I’d say the Phelps were odd. But as I’m going to hell anyway, I’ll just say they’re bigoted fuckwits with not an ounce of sense or humanity in the whole damn cult.

 By far the biggest ‘find’ I made on here (actually, it was via a follower who shall remain anon) is @Soldierjohn. The whole blog could be filled with his ‘thoughts’ on Obama, Islam, Christianity, taxes, liberalism, abortion etc. I recommend you have a look at his timeline. Really. It saves me writing it out, and you’ll also see what I’ve been seeing for the past week.

 I’ve had a couple of exchanges with people I’m following (who, to save time, I’ll just call the #chosen). Some have been pleasant enough, just wanting to know what I’m doing. Some have been argumentative, which is fair enough as I’m not following them because I agree with them. A couple of DMs to my account have advised me of my imminent trip to hell, and most sadly, my non-participation in the Rapture. I can’t be arsed with eschatological nonsense, but essentially it means that when he returns to earth, Jesus will blank me and I will be consumed by hellfire. And I thought he was supposed to be a nice fellow.

 Most, though have been boring, anti-scientific, closed mind twaddle. And so, tomorrow I’m dumping the American #chosen, and looking for new ones in Europe. Luckily @twitter is now advising like-minded lunatics for me to follow.

 Though I’m sure it should be ‘whom to follow’, and not ‘who…’

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About samjay67

Nah, don't think so.
This entry was posted in #wrongtwitter. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to I’ll see you all in hell, apparently.

  1. Julian Finn says:

    How did I miss this project? I love (occasionally) following utter asshats on Twitter just to see what they’ll say. It’s the Howard Stern effect but without any control whatsoever.

    • samjay67 says:

      I occasionally did the same as you, but the long term following is something new. It’s better in a way…it becomes so much easier to identify the real arseholes from those who flirt with arseholeness.

  2. Scaraboo says:

    Rather you than me, SJ.
    Cracking blog x

  3. dunchinson says:

    As much as your blog gives me giggles, a credit to the way you write, the wrongtwitter experiment itself baffles me. Well, rather, it makes me feel a bit sad. It feels like a friend started dating a total dick and she kind of *knows* he’s a dick. And she kind of knows *I* know he’s a dick. But she’s dating him regardless. And all I want to say is “stop dating him, he’s a total dick.”
    Don’t let the negatrons fill you with crazy. x

    • samjay67 says:

      That’s an excellent summation, really. It seemed like a good idea, and I’m determined to see it through. #wrongtwitter is a dick, though, a great big annoyingly twatheaded one. x

  4. vivmondo says:

    Top notch bloggery, sir!

    Are you purposefully mostly following Americans or has it just ended up that way?

    If you’re looking for some right-wing UK loons, you could just start with someone like @JesterUK and work up a list from who he interacts with.

  5. Ash says:

    You ever seen the film I.D.? When the bloke from that sitcom plays an undercover cop investigating football hooliganism but becomes a hooligan cos he was in too deep?

    It’s quite good.

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